brolores park

It’s Pre-season in Bro Park

Things are starting to bro up.

Did some preliminary scouting of the bro leagues today. Noticed a few important upcoming memes. One of them might be bronanas. Saw this bro getting really into eating his banana, and then behind them I overheard this new bro selling brownies (not last year’s bro with the mystical bronze brownie urns— new bro has more of an Insane Clowne Posse style) talking about how he’s selling ‘PB&J’ brownies. Feel like maybe Brolores is going to have a Banana Bropublic theme this year.

Rain rain bro away come again some other day

S0 rainy lately, bros. Can’t even go to the park. Not sure what to do with myself when I’m supposed to be ‘chilling’ but there is no relevant outdoor chill spot to go to. With all this rain I have taken to getting more ‘bromestic’. Yesterday I went to Bro-Rite and was checking out the intense display of brorganics they sell. This bro who works there and whose job is to ‘make you feel like you are on the farm’ talked to me for like 15 minutes about the exact type of salad to buy. I wanted something really authentic so I decided to buy watercress. Seemed like the most authentic green thing they had [via not being mainstream].

Then I was talking to him about what else I could add to make my salad authentic. He showed me the most authentic apple to get— it was called a “Jack” apple. Jack reminded me of whiskey, which is authentic, so I was like, what would happen if I put whiskey in my salad dressing— seems like that would work. And he was like yeah, and I could tell he was jealous that he hadn’t thought of putting whiskey in salad dressing first. But to bro-up me he started suggesting other things to put in the salad, like blue cheese. He got this other bro to help me decide what the most authentic blue cheese was. So at the end of all that I had all these ingredients for probably the most authentic salad you can possibly make, so I thought yall would probably be interested, since we’re all just kind of sitting around inside waiting for it to stop raining.

The Most Bro-thentic Salad of All Time brought to u by Brolores Park:

1. Watercress. make sure it still has the roots on it when u buy it [no roots = not authentic]

2. Jack apple, cut into bits

3. the most authentic blue cheese in the case [I got something called ‘Neal’s Yard’ — seems like Neal is probably a chill bro]

4. a lemon

5. olive oil

6. some brown sugar [via the Brolling Stones ‘Brown Sugar’]

Chop up the watercress and apple. Then mix some lemon juice and olive oil and sugar and whiskey. Not gonna tell you the proportions because I think you’re supposed to make your own authentic mix [via cooking as djing].

Pour the dressing on the salad and crumble some cheese on it. Might want to drink some whiskey and listen to some vinyl while you’re eating. Broila… an authentic rainy afternoon.

Happy Bro Year everyone!!

Not really sure what to expect from 2010. So far today it seems pretty chill. Went to Bro-Rite market to buy some bro-ganically grown food and chilled with bros at the checkout line. Saw that they are featuring some super hand-made alt whiskeys with handwritten labels that make Maker’s Mark look like Walmart whiskey. Based on my bro-liday experiences across three states it seems like the entire alt nation is in agreement that drinking hand-made whiskey that no one’s heard of is pretty much the only/most authentic thing to do right now.

Not sure about 2009. Thought it was going to be the ultimate chill and authentic year, like the culmination of the decade where we could all celebrate how authentic and ‘true to ourselves’ we’d become, but then it turned out to be more about confusing ‘struggles’ and ‘surprises’ [via Tig Woods not being ‘who we thought he was’]. Feel like struggles and surprises aren’t very chill, but you kind of need them because they help you ‘grow’. Feel like we all ‘grew up a little’ in 2009.

Feel like now that we’ve struggled a little maybe we can ‘stand tall’ and ‘chill’ in 2010 like these palm trees.

As I was walking by Brolores today I was thinking about how palm trees are kind of like bros. They like to chill together in groups, and they usually kind of ‘dress the same’ [via long palm tree hair/beards, but sometimes they all get their hair cut at the same time], and they are kind of chill. Whenever I need to feel more chill I seek out some palm trees and just kind of bro out with them. Feel like I can tell them my problems and they just sort of chill listening to me, kind of nodding like, yeah, seen that before, it’s gonna be ok bro. Kind of makes them the ultimate bros.

Do you think that palm trees are the new bros/wolves/Girls in 2010 [via bro-ganicism]?

Think 90s night at The Bro-ckout might be the new Brolores Park [via Tecate tallbros + rainbro of plaid]